Shuttling excess water from Earth.

Complying with the crazy ideas generated while encountering day to day engineering shortcomings by us this particular idea should be given some serious thought as it might just be, the solution to the problem of rising sea level engulfing our landmasses as a result of global warming.

Don't ask me, how a lunch time discussion on death and different ways of administering capital punishment deviated into solving the greatest environmental threat we face, because that happens all the time in the porta cabin. So this is how it goes....

A question arose, "Can we not dump all the excess water from the melting ice cap into space." Immediately, someone  interjected by saying, "Can you imagine the number of trips required and the cost involved?" 

Having read about the recent PSLV-C23 launch from India, and the info-graphic depicting its trajectory outside the atmosphere was floating in the sub conscious somewhere. It was a Eureka moment as that very picture in this context conjured up this theory:

What you need:

1. A tube from the bottom of the ocean to a suitable satellite orbit
2. A plunger which sits flush inside this tube 
3. A rocket capable of accelerating the plunger to escape velocity for the length of the tube

 

What you need to do:

1. Build the tube
2. Insert the plunger into the tube
3. Connect the rocket to the plunger
4. Fire the rocket.

What will happen:

The plunger while accelerating will create a suction in the trailing part pulling the water along the length of the tube setting up a nice siphon which will put the water from the depths of the ocean into a nice and neat orbit around the earth. 

We could even have our own planetary ring as a result of this. err.. which would have some fish floating around in that ring which, if I was fish, I would not be very happy about, but we could put a strainer to filter them out at the bottom of the tube.

Do remember to believe that this could be the only way to curb the rising sea level, which if left to rise could see us all running for the mountains pretty soon. It is thus thought, that we are going to make it happen at any cost.

Since this is going to bring a lot of 'how are you going to...' questions, I want to list out a few immediate flaws with this idea.

1. Sub Zero temperatures in the higher layers of the atmosphere will freeze the water flowing in the pipes. 
•  A valid argument. I thank the buzzkill for irking my thought further. insulating the pipe with heat tracing, would be an utter waste of resources. And since I am living in the future, I'm thinking of geosynchronous satellites with solar concentrators, directing the solar radiation from the sun onto the affected area of the tube to eliminate icing.
  
2.  We need the exhaust of the rocket pushing against something for this to work. It cannot push against the water that it is supposed to pull along.
• Well, that is true. But then, we can have the rocket outside the tube holding the plunger through some magnetic magic. Which surely is possible since, as of today, we are able to guide invisible particles form the innards of atoms through accelerators built underground and across national borders, as per will.
  
3.  Construction of this contraption.
•  ....................

While I do have some ideas, I am willing to listen to yours' first. So let's bring it on guys.

Get cracking or debunking.